Hey Sports Fans.... it's me again....
So, I have been drawing for hours and hours every day for MONTHS on this personal Tarot project. Something I "always" wanted to do. (Sort of in the category of always wanted to be young again but drawing a Tarot deck seemed easier) and then I had a really good bit of feedback which then led me to do more actual research. Oh my. Imagine a cave person getting really excited having discovered how to sharpen a stick and knowing that this tool will really help, and then running around to friends only to discover they all already had not only sharpened sticks, but long ones, ones that could fly with great force, some that were decorated with beads and shiny stuff. Yeah.
To me, a "collection" is anything you've got at least 3 of. To others, 60 different Tarot decks is a collection. Gold foiled, embossed, many varieties of styles, sizes, art both real and abstract, racially diverse, based on Jungian archetypes, or any psychology, for beginners, multi-lingual, for the advanced intuitive, of species of esotericism only a mother could love... more kinds than you could shake a sharpened stick at. It was, in itself, a lesson. Momentarily, I was stopped in my tracks.
Don't artists come up against this "wall" every so often? Sure they do. Like what am I contributing here? Look at all this fantastic art already in mass production and flowing through the capitalist wonderland into the hands of people a whole lot more focused on "Tarot" than I apparently am.
See, I can use a hammer... or I can use a rock... or a hard-soled shoe... or anything harder than the nail to pound on it to get the job done. I think it is fine if you have a hammer for every occasion, for every season or day of the week, for every mood. Really, I do.
I really enjoyed seeing The Hammer Museum in Alaska and felt admiration for all that specificity in the tool.
Am I just a Phillistine in the "a tool for every purpose" department? Do I not appreciate that this particular hammer is perfect for this particular job? I am appreciative! I do have great respect for all the hammers! I just don't (a) have the space, (b) have the money, (c) have the need for specialty hammers in my humble studio... even if I SHOULD... I don't.
So, when it comes to the tool of Tarot, I am the okay with using a rock because it is handy type.
For years I had my old old Rider Waite deck, and I had a nice hand made box for it, and a silk scarf to wrap it in and lay it out on, and had slept on it, traveled with it, took it to a whiz bang super Tarot seminar with an ultra mage from England teaching a deep level of the card's meanings... etc etc And then the deck was stolen from my house by a lady we thought we were helping by paying her to clean...just this once... and wow... I was not happy about that. HOWEVER, I worked hard and quickly to send that lady good vibes in hopes that karma would not also use any handy rock to visit upon her. That would not help either of us.
Finally, when I could more laugh about that "violation" than be pissed about it, I decided to make my own Tarot. Now listen - I do have a small collection of decks. I have another Rider Waite deck, a Salvador Dali deck, a Giarmo del Toro deck, The Gold Dawn, Thoth, some with cultural appropriations, cats and you get the picture... I even ordered a new version of Rider Waite because I liked the black background and gold edges.. BUT... I don't really use them with ANY regularity because, you know, I'm the handy rock woman. I have my fave... my familiar deck.
I was "taught" long ago a bunch of "shoulds" about Tarot decks. First, they should be gifts. You were not supposed to just go buy one for yourself. I was supposed to sleep on the deck, a lot, and handle the deck, a lot, and share that energy or perhaps infuse my own energy into the deck to get out whatever energy was lingering there from factory workers or book sellers. Become one with the deck.
Heck... you need to become One with everything, so.... you do it. It is respectful. I get that.
And yeah. Size matters. (you know, holding, shuffleing, carrying...)
Sure, I like all the art, the various visions and takes and interpretations other artists have put into their versions of the cards, I do. And maybe it is because I am a Taurus with a Leo rising and a Libra moon and a handy rock type of hammerer, but I liked one deck mostly and use it mostly and adjust my mood accordingly. Maybe I'm just practical? I don't think I'm lazy? and really, I don't feel like a Phillistine. I've spent MONTHS drawing my own version of the Tarot!
Still, I was stopped in my tracks the other day when I let myself take in all the differences, varieties, versions, commercially successful "sharpened sticks" already out there in the world.
Questioning myself - what makes me think I'm special? What do I think I can teach these people who apparently already have heard it all, and have it on their shelves? Am I going to make a youtube channel? No. Am I going to make any sort of film or give talks or even go to conventions about the Tarot? No. Am I trying to set myself up and some sort of Tarot Guru? No. What the heck do I want?
I want to save the world with art.
I want the sacred to be approachable because, you know, it is. It can't help itself.
It is everywhere, in everything, through everything, makes up everything... even the stuff we don't like or care about... it is still there.
You know, bidden or unbidden, God is present. Or whatever you want to call it, the allness. Personally, I've been calling "it" Dark Matter lately. The anthropomorphic cosmic oneness of everything existing, known and mostly unknown and I don't think it is out to 'get cha' - and yet I do think we need to ask for help in order to get the help we need. Or otherwise learn to recognize when help comes along and conks you on your head to get your attention.
Okay. I'm still going to make this deck. Probably just for me and friends, and anyone who wants to collect my brand of unique contemporary snarky sometimes art. Let me know. And keep making YOUR marks, too! Art Saves The World. Thanks for reading this.